Book Review: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

2tweetsretweet

Title: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Author: Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W.
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
Publication Date: October 4, 2010
Paperback: 260 pages
ISBN: 978-1592858491
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help

From the Publisher:

"I wish my nose was smaller. I feel guilty every time I leave my kids in day care. I’m afraid to say what I really think. I hate these thunder thighs. I should be married by now. I sounded so dumb. Whether we fixate on our bodies, minds, personalities, or actions, every woman struggles with feelings of not being good enough. Each day we face a barrage of images and ideas–from society and the media–telling us who we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only change those flaws by looking perfect and leading a perfect life, then we’d no longer feel inadequate."

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W., the leading expert on shame, reveals that it is actually our imperfections that connect us to one another as human beings and make us who we are. We are naturally drawn to those we view as authentic, real, and down-to-earth. It makes sense, then, that we should stop reaching for something “better” and, instead, strive to be who we are, fully owning every aspect of ourselves. Through essays, stories, inspiring quotes, meditations, and dynamic creative exercises designed for personal discovery and growth, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits in finding the greatness in our flaws and evolving our self-perceptions. She helps us develop the skills to accept our humanness with compassion and practice empathy with ourselves and others.

Review by Jennifer Higgins:

Have you ever thought to yourself “if only I get this promotion, or if I could just lose twenty pounds, then I will be happy”? If so, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown may just be the answer. The premise of the book, to embrace imperfection, is seemingly simple, yet for many can be quite complex to execute. Brown tells the reader that happiness, or the love of oneself is not conditional on any prerequisites, rather it is a state of mind. Brown offers the reader ten realistic goalposts to help the reader overcome perceived obstacles to becoming happy, which requires one to love oneself and accept being less than perfect. How simplistic sounding, yet how many people are truly content with their current life, body, and circumstances? I personally do not know any and in this media-infused society it appears there are less and less people able to obtain what media dictates as “socially desirable”. Suddenly Brown’s assertion of self-love does not seem so simplistic to achieve. The Gifts of Imperfection is not a “new-age” book nor does it offer up revolutionary ideas. The premise is solid and indeed life-changing for those who are willing to realize that regardless of flaws and imperfections, it is okay, we are all flawed and yet we are all worthy of love and happiness, to be content in the now. I recommend The Gifts of Imperfection to everyone.

(From Jennifer Higgins' blog: www.rundpinne.com) 

When the Heart Speaks

"When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object." ~ Milan Kundera, Czech Novelist

Digesting a Sincere Compliment

"There is probably no better or more reliable measure of whether a woman has spent time in ugly duckling status at some point or all throughout her life than her inability to digest a sincere compliment. Although it could be a matter of modesty, or could be attributed to shyness- although too many serious wounds are carelessly written off as "nothing but shyness"- more often a compliment is stuttered around about because it sets up an automatic and unpleasant dialogue in the woman's mind. 

If you say how lovely she is, or how beautiful her art is, or compliment anything else her soul took part in, inspired, or suffused, something in her mind says she is undeserving and you, the complimentor, are an idiot for thinking such a thing to begin with. Rather than understand that the beauty of her soul shines through when she is being herself, the woman changes the subject and effectively snatches nourishment away from the soul-self, which thrives on being acknowledged." ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Author/Pyschotherapist

Looking for The Best in Others

This is part of a passionate lecture by the renown psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Dr. Viltor Frankl. Although presented in 1972 it is still so relevant today. See it here: Why believe in others

Miserable or Strong?

"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same." ~ Carolos Castaneda, Writer

Nobody Escapes Being Wounded

Nobody escapes being wounded.  We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.  The main question is not “How can we hide our wounds?” so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but “How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?” ~ Henri Nouwen, Author – The Wounded Healer