Book Review: The Shadow Effect

The quest for perfection is failed from the start for all of us. There is no perfect life. All of us are a mixture of all that we have experienced, all that has traumatized or hurt us, all that has informed us, all that has inspired and healed us. Our growing up years. Our college days. Our career or work choices. Our marriages and divorces. Our parents, lovers, and friends. It's all a part of who we have become and who we are now.

The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your Self, written by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson, is a fascinating book that explores all we have been, are now, and can still become once we understand and accept our own hidden power under the layers of all that we are.

Read a review of the book here: The Shadow Effect

Our love has lifted us up

"We are fated to love one another; we hardly exist outside our love, we are just animals without it, with a birth and a death and constant fear between. Our love has lifted us up, out of the dreadfulness of merely living. “~ John Updike, Novelist

An Innocence to Hold Humanity Together

"Many people find it easy to imagine unseen webs of malevolent conspiracy in the world, and they are not always wrong. But there is also an innocence that conspires to hold humanity together, and it is made of people who can never fully know the good that they have done." ~ Tracy Kidder, Author

Life Is Like A Cup of Coffee

The Full Life

The full life is filled with vulnerability, not defense.  You face whatever feeling there is. ~ Virginia Satir, Psychotherapist

How Love Dies

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings." ~ Anais Nin, French/Cuban Novelist

When we love...

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.  When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. ~ Paul Coelho, "The Alchemist"

Shoulders

Shoulders
By Naomi Shihab Nye

A man crosses the street in rain,
stepping gently, looking two times north and south,
because his son is asleep on his shoulder.

No car must splash him.
No car drive too near to his shadow.

This man carries the world’s most sensitive cargo
but he’s not marked.
Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE,
HANDLE WITH CARE.

His ear fills up with breathing.
He hears the hum of a boy’s dream
deep inside him.

We’re not going to be able
to live in this world
if we’re not willing to do what he’s doing
with one another.

The road will only be wide.
The rain will never stop falling.

The Dark Holes of Faith

“My scientist friends have come up with things like ‘principles of uncertainty’ and dark holes. They’re willing to live inside imagined hypotheses and theories. But many religious folk insist on answers that are always true. We love closure, resolution and clarity, while thinking that we are people of ‘faith’! How strange that the very word ‘faith’ has come to mean its exact opposite.” ~ Richard Rhor, Theologian/Author

Nobody Escapes Being Wounded

Nobody escapes being wounded.  We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.  The main question is not “How can we hide our wounds?” so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but “How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?” ~ Henri Nouwen, Author – The Wounded Healer

Secret Sorrow

Believe me, every person has their secret sorrow, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a person cold when they are only sad. —HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Feelings

A little advice about feelings kiddo; don't expect it always to tickle. 


~ Dr. Berger to Conrad Jarrett in the movie, "Ordinary People"

How To Find Our Way Through Discouragement

1.      Face what you are feeling.  Trying to ignore feelings only leaves us more frustrated and wanting to shut down.

2.      Search for understanding.  See if there are insights in the messiness.

3.      Express anger, disappointment, fear, confusion in healthy ways.

4.      Reach out.  Talk to those you trust.  Listen for clues, within and from others, for how to move on.

5.      Stay open.  Be willing to accept and not get stuck in denial.

6.      Change your thinking.  Sometimes just deciding to stop fretting over something helps us begin to get past it.

7.      Allow some affirmation.  Be with those you love and those who love you.  Take in some good feelings from being in their company.

8.      Extend yourself.  Offer support to someone else who needs some care.

9.      Be aware.  Not everything is ugly or frustrating or hurtful right now.  Look for glimmers of goodness around you.  They are there if we care to search.

10. Treat yourself.  Buy some fresh flowers.  Take a modest shopping spree.  See a movie you like.  Have coffee with a friend.  Sometimes the smallest things have a way of lifting us out of the gloom.

Your Understanding Voices

"The human voice, if it is an understanding one, is an almost spiritual vehicle." – Jules Supervielle, French Poet


Who are the understanding voices in your life?  The people or person whose voice carries warmth and reassurance, wisdom and helpful guidance?  Let them know what they mean to you.


In the work of encouragement we all need at least one person whose voice is comfort, whose presence is encouragement.


The goal is to become ourself an understanding voice we hear within and we share with those we love.