When we feel good inside we treat others better

There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. – Nathaniel Branden, Psychologist/Philosopher

The sometimes drain of always giving to others

Encouragement needs to be reciprocal.  If you are always encouraging, affirming, supporting, giving pats on the back, but never receiving any of your own, then it's easy to wear down and begin to feel emotionally depleted.

We don't encourage others just so we can be praised for it or told how great we are.  We do it because we care, we love, we empathize, we identify, and because we want something good for that person.

But caregivers, people who give of themselves to others, also need their own good feelings of affirmation, acceptance, and appreciation.

Find ways to be available to good feelings of acceptance, appreciation, and gratitude for who you are, how you give of yourself to others, and for the love you share.  Be with those who offer these affirmations to you.  Be open to the generosity and care of others.  Freely accept smiles, warm embraces, encouraging words, loving touches, and grace from the friends and people who love and appreciate you.

Be willing to treat yourself in ways that fulfill some of your own needs for acknowledgement and care.

© 2011 Timothy Moody

Finding meaning in life

“By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of his life, I wish to stress that the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system. I have termed this constitutive characteristic ‘the self-transcendence of human existence.’ It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself--be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself--by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love--the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself.” ~ Viktor Frankl, Man in Search of Meaning

Be Happy with what you have.

Happiness is often more of a choice than a consequence. Life is just hard, okay? We want it to be so easy and comforting and successful. It can be. But there will always be bumps along the way. Here is a brief essay to remind all of us to simply: Be Happy with what you have.

Focusing on negativity doesn't make any of us better

"The moment is never improved or helped by negativity, although we are programmed to think our negative thoughts, worries, and fears serve a useful function.  When you really examine this idea, however, you see that negativity doesn't serve.  Focusing on negativity and fears doesn't make anyone a better person, nor does doing that help us function better in the world.  In fact, the truth is quite the opposite." ~ From, What about Now? Reminders for Being in the Moment, by Gina Lake

We all need a friend, and need to be a friend, just like this...

"Are you upset little friend?  Have you been lying awake worrying?  Well, don't worry, I'm here.   The flood waters will recede.  The famine will end.  The sun will shine tomorrow.  And I will always be here to take care of you." ~ Charlie Brown to Snoopy, "Peanuts" cartoon

Transcending Ourselves = Meaningful Living

"A sense of life meaning ensues but cannot be deliberately pursued: life meaning is always a derivative phenomenon that materializes when we have transcended ourselves, when we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone (or something) outside ourselves" —  Irvin D. Yalom, Physician/Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry, Stanford University School of Medicine

            

Are You Willing to Do This for One Day?

Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front of you so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open - are you willing to do these things for even a day? 

—Caroline Kennedy, Author/Attorney

Healing Ourselves and the World

"Generosity, trustworthiness, kindness, empathy, compassion, gratitude, joy in the good fortune of others, inclusiveness, acceptance, and equanimity are qualities of mind and heart that further the possibilities of well-being and clarity within oneself, to say nothing of the beneficial effects they have in the world.  They form the foundation for an ethical and moral life." ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn, Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness

Life Is Like A Cup of Coffee

When we love...

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.  When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. ~ Paul Coelho, "The Alchemist"

Shoulders

Shoulders
By Naomi Shihab Nye

A man crosses the street in rain,
stepping gently, looking two times north and south,
because his son is asleep on his shoulder.

No car must splash him.
No car drive too near to his shadow.

This man carries the world’s most sensitive cargo
but he’s not marked.
Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE,
HANDLE WITH CARE.

His ear fills up with breathing.
He hears the hum of a boy’s dream
deep inside him.

We’re not going to be able
to live in this world
if we’re not willing to do what he’s doing
with one another.

The road will only be wide.
The rain will never stop falling.

What Exactly is Humility?

"Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less." – Ken Blanchard, Author/Leadership Expert